i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
