How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
