Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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