I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize