I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
