How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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