You can't motorboat a personality
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
