Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
