I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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