im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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