We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize