Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
