That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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