dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
