K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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