My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
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Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
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I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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