i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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