i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
