it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
