That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
