And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
He passed out mid-signature
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
