Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?

(319): View more from Iowa

Yes. For all mankind please do.

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(713): View more from Texas

I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I wanted to see November 5, 1985

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(702): View more from Nevada

the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!

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(585): View more from New York

lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time

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(864): View more from South Carolina

For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.

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(408): View more from California

Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.

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(817): View more from Texas

It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.

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(785): View more from Kansas

I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..

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