Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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