Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
