Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
We are two peas in an std pod
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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