Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
