she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
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you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
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Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Congratulations! We have a period
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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