Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
What a dumb baby whore.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
