Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
