I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
