i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
