How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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