You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
honey bunches of taint.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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