Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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