Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
