i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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