cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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