Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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