Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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