no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
