So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
