Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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