May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
