Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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