I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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