i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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