I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
