I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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