Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
