Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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