wakey wakey hands off snakey
there's paper in my vomit.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
my poor anus
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
