and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
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Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
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Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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