I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
