You really coming over, don't trick.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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