SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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