do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
